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We do not have the same duty to give to our brothers, sisters, or other family members as we do to our parents. Even though you may love your siblings or other relatives with all your heart, these are different kinds of relationships. When giving to a family member other than a parent, or a person who served in a parental capacity, there is a real danger of this gift of money tainting the purity of your love—thus tainting the purity of your intention. You may be thinking that this doesn’t apply to you, given how much you love your brothers and sisters, but I ask you to take heed. I have seen the bitterness such “gifts” can eventually lead to many times in my practice, and I ask you to think very carefully before you give your monthly offering to a family member other than a parent.
For instance, if you happen to have a brother or sister making far more money than you are, do you secretly wish they’d do a little something to help make your own life easier? This is a common thought. But if such a “gift” came, do you really believe that no expectations would be attached? Won’t that brother wonder about or care what you did with the money? What if you ran into your sister while you were having dinner at a nice restaurant? Would you freeze with guilt, in case she thought you were spending her gift frivolously? Might your sibling start asking you what you need money for? What if you start doing much better financially? Will you feel the need to give back the money? Will your brother or sister feel you should? If you find yourself answering “Yes” to any of these questions, the gift in question is neither purely given nor purely received. Maybe yours is one of the rare families where you truly do see each other as one. But most of us can’t open our hands gracefully to give to or receive from family members in a pure way, so I do not recommend making your monthly offerings to family members.